Most 1 year-olds will have similar episodes of frustrations, since they’re at an age when their desires often outpace their abilities. Most anything, a challenging jigsaw puzzle, a lid that won’t come off eaily, or someone who doesn’t understand his grunts can send a toddler into a tearful, body-thrashing tantrum.

You may find dealing with your child’s frustrations, well, frustrating. But keep in mind that his behavior signals a positive developmental step. At this stage, your child is learning that the world has limits, and there are things he can conquer and things he can’t. Often the best approach is to let your 1-year-old continue to try and try again. Don’t be so quick to jump into rescue him, even if he’s struggling. This may seem hard for you as a parent, but just as adults learn from their mistakes, so do toddlers. It’s natural to want everything to be perfect for your child but remember that children need to learn that instant gratification isn’t always possible. Experiencing frustrations teaches your toddler how to cope with obstacles, a valuable skill he’ll need for the rest of his life.

In addition, intervening may frustrate your child more. Be more patient and emphathetic when your child gets frustrated with a challenging task or toy. You might say, “I know you’re trying trying ver y hard to put the puzzles together and you feel angry that the pieces don’t fit.” This will help give him vocabulary to interpret his feelings. By contrast if you tell your toddler that the pieces are fitting nicely (when clearly they’re not) you’re insulting his judgement. Dismissing his frustrations may only upset him more. Your support will eventually teach him that persistence pasy off.

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