Kids, despite appearances, don’t master manipulation overnight. Rather, they experiment with different methods until they discover what works with whom, and how far they can go without getting into trouble. If your child doesn’t want to eat her vegetables, for instance, she may first argue and then plead before finally settling on a winning strategy “Mom, I feel sick, Can I be excused?” usually, parents are most likely to give in when a child sulks, plays the guilt card “You promised!” or pretend incompetence “I don’t know how, Can you please help me”
As devious as your child may seem at times, experts say there’s no need to fear she’ll turn into a liar. Such behavior is a normal phase of childhood and can’t be stamped out completely. But it can be controlled. Here’s how.
- Become immune to his efforts.- If you catch your child trying to manipulate you, don’t push him or express annoyance. Simply ignore the actions. He’ll soon realize that his tactics don’t work.
- Set the terms. – If you ask you son to clean his room and he replies “I will as soon as you take me for a bike ride” gently but firmly clarify that you’ll consider his request after he’s finished tidying up.
- Teach better manners. – Explain the distinction between an impolite way of speaking and an acceptable way of asking.
- Make him take “no” for an answer. – Don’t get dragged into a discussion. Let your child know a subject is closed by saying “ Enough’ or holding up your palm. Show your children you mean what you say. Manipulation loses its appeal if they know you won’t change your mind.
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Tags: how to handle manipulators, manipulate, manipulation
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