Obviously, healthy eating, especially during pregnancy, includes a lot more than a list of things to avoid.  When you really only need to add about 300 calories a day for a healthy pregnancy, it matters even more what you actually do put into your body and your baby’s body. 

But for those of who try in whatever small way to eat healthy, we know that it’s not the things we should eat that give us problems, but the things we shouldn’t.  I mean, a chocolate-covered granola bar is healthy, right? 

So, for those who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, here is a list of don’ts for eating during pregnancy.  Some of them might surprise you. 

• Unpasteurized dairy products (milk, cheeses).  I didn’t even know you could get these things unpasteurized these days.

• Raw sea food.  Oysters and raw sushi are on this list.  Though why anyone would eat an oyster is beyong me, and living with two shell-critter eaters has not solved the mystery.  Anyway, these things could have bacteria that can harm you and your baby.

• Fish.  This is more of a “limit yourself” than a strict “don’t.”  But even cooked fish can have unhealthy levels of mercury, which can affect how your baby’s brain develops.  However, a couple of servings of fish a week can give you a good boost of vitamins.

• Alcohol.  Even though my mom was told to drink a Porter a day through her pregnancies, you should avoid all alcohol.  Period.  Don’t mess with this one. 

• Caffeine.  If you’re as lucky as I was, your body won’t want your morning cups of joe (a miracle in my case; I’ve been a faithful coffee drinker since I was 14).  But this also includes teas and sodas, and yes… even chocolate.  This is another brain thing–your baby’s.  Caffeine can cause ADHD and learning disabilities in fetuses.

• Diet drinks.  The ones with aspartame can cause headaches in both you and your wee one.  If you must drink these, choose the ones with splenda or stevia.

Don’t forget to replace all those don’ts with some healthy do’s, like eating more often, eating fruits and vegetables, and drinking plenty of water.

So…you’re doing your Kegels and saving your pennies to get ready for the pregnancy you’re planning.  Good.  Let’s look now at the least predictable, least tangible part of preparing your life for an impending pregnancy, your emotional life.  Im going to divide this into two parts–your personal emotions and your couple life.  This post will be about how to prepare yourself emotionally for pregnancy.

1. Be happy.  This might be harder than it seems.  If you are happy now, you are more likely to be able to maintain a sense of joy and peace during the course of your pregnancy.  That’s really good for both you and the baby.  And while pregnancy isn’t all sunshine and lollipops, remind yourself how happy you are about it.  It helps get through the bad stuff.
2. Don’t try to be happy all the time.  In your non-pregnancy life, you have to deal with the bad stuff that comes with the good stuff.  You like your job, but you have to deal with difficult people.  You love your partner, but some habit of his drive you crazy.  You have to give yourself room for those complex feelings in life, and you will have to do so in pregnancy, too.  Just  because your pregnancy is wanted and planned doesn’t mean you have to be excited about it every single minute.  Even before you get pregnant, you may find yourself struggling with doubt, insecurity and grief.  This doesn’t mean you will be a bad parent.
3. Take care of yourself.  This is the time to take stock of your life and determine whether you have too much stress, not enough “me-time,” or unhealthy habits.  Breaking yourself of bad habits is not only good for you physically, but also gives you a sense of freedom, liberation and energy you might not have experienced before.  And learn how to pamper yourself now, because after the baby’s born, those opportunities will be few and far between.
4. Begin to grieve.  In a very real way, you will be losing a certain life with the introduction of a baby into a relationship or lifestyle.  You can begin to grieve even as you prepare.  Small freedoms you didn’t even know you had will go out the window–you won’t be able to just take a walk anymore.  You won’t be able to spontaneously run off to a movie or make love on the living room floor.  You will never be “just you,” or “just us,” again.  Cherish it while you still have it, and begin to let it go. 
5. Make room for changes.  Your feelings about things are going to change.  As I said before, you can’t imagine until you’ve done it how head-over-heels in love you’ll fall with this little person.  Make your plans, but make room in them to adjust without guilt. 
6. Keep a journal.  Not all of us are great journal writers, but we all need some way to work through our fears, anxieties and thrills.  Take pictures, paint paintings, join an online support group.  Above all, find some way to deal positively with your feelings, and prepare yourself to deal postively with feelings you can’t predict in the future. 
7. Get counseling.  Now, I don’t know if you need counseling, though I am convinced that most people could benefit from at least a little bit of it.  But if you have any issues from your childhood, scars that resist healing, or troubles in your couple-relationship, now–before you even get pregnant–is the time to deal with those.
8. Talk to your doctor about meds. Many meds, including those that keep us emotinally balanced, are not okay for pregnancy.  Check with your doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist for alternative meds, and if meds are out for a while, for other ways to keep your feelings in control.