Does your child have her weekly or montly allowance? How do you give this to her? Is this a set amount for the week, or do you make her strive and work for it?

It’s become an issue to a parent I know, whose child has been asking a 100% increase in his allowance because it did not seem to cover his day to day expenses at school. I mean, what day to day expenses? The kids only come to school to study, and perhaps eat lunch and snacks, which should cost a little under $5 at best. Lunches are even free and the child can bring his or her own food for snacking.

It turns out, what this parent’s kid really wanted was to save money for purchasing a really expensive toy. And while the idea of saving is a good one, some parents suggested that instead of giving the kid his money outright, the parent can also teach him to earn it.

So, after agreeing to the set up, father and son have made up a chart about chores he can do around the house in a week. Each chore is equivalent to a price and everything is at least below $5 to do.

I like the idea better because the children can learn responsibility. They can also appreciate the value of hard work and money by doing this.

How do you manage allowances or giving money to your child, with them learning the value of what they are asking for?

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Or ice day, as the case may be.  Where I live, we get very little snow, but a ton of ice.  The effect is the same, though–5 people stuck in the same house together for 72 hours or more.  Usually we consider it a nice, roomy house, but on these days, it starts to feel a bit crowded.  

So, let’s talk about what to do to keep from going crazy on snow days. 

First of all, take a deep breath and get a grip on your patience.  You’re just going to have to accept that your day is going to be different, and much more kid-centered, than you had planned.  This can be a problem if you work from home (I can’t even count how many times today I told my kids, “Just because you’re home doesn’t mean that Daddy and I don’t have to work.”).  But kids aren’t entirely unreasonable.  If they’re old enough, make it clear when you need them to be independent and when you can give them attention.  You may have to reinforce it a few times, but they’ll usually work with you.

Here are some other ways to pass the time in a positive way.  Don’t forget that any of these can be spaced throughout the day or traded off (Dad plays board games while Mom reads, Mom bakes cookies while Dad uses computer).

• Trilogies.  Star Wars, Back to the Future, Shrek, Indiana Jones… at least 3, sometimes 4 or even 6 movies.  Watch one in the morning, one after lunch, and one after dinner.   This way they don’t veg in front of the TV all day, but it can still be fun to watch the whole series.  You can use the in-between time to work while they play, draw, or do chores.  Yes, you heard me, I said…
• Chores.  You might need to supervise, but why shouldn’t they fold socks, vacuum, or put away the dishes?  Not all day, of course, because snow days are supposed to be fun, but after a movie or an activity is a good time to say, “Now before we do anything else, I need everyone to bring me the sheets off their beds.”
• Board games.  Admit it; you have a bunch of games, but you hardly ever play them as a family.  Snow days are tailor made for some good family game time.  Younger kids can team up with parents or older siblings if they can’t play on their own.  And like I said above, one parent can play best 2-out-of-3 in Candyland while the other parent takes a break or gets some work done. 
• Work out tapes.  Our kids are usually in better shape than we are, but that’s because they’re used to being active.  If they are stuck inside the house all day, all that energy is going to be diverted to fighting with siblings or bugging you.  Work some of it out with them by doing an aerobics tape together.  Another way to fit in some activity is to put on a CD and dance around the living room for several songs.  But it’s no fun for them unless you get up and get moving with them.
• Baking.  Even little kids can pour a cup of flour in a bowl, and they take such pride in eating what they’ve helped make.  And then when they start whining that they’re hungry, you have something to give them!
• Reading out loud.  Give them coloring or drawing materials and start a chapter book.  You can do several chapters throughout the day, or just do a few at night.  The sitting and listeing involved helps keep everyone calm, and it has also been known to divert arguments.  The drawing during a story helps them process what they’re hearing and tap into their creative side.

Snow days don’t have to be crazy-making.  With a little patience and a good attitude, they can be some of your family’s best memories.

Image courtesy of Momlogic.com

The Quad City Times ran an article asking that very question.  When it comes to cell phones, how young is too young?

This is a question that parents of my acquaintance discuss together all the time.  Several of my kids’ friends’ parents have caved in and gotten their kids cells, even though they said they wouldn’t.  This makes is really hard on our family, where the rule has been that nobody gets a cell until they’re freshmen in high school.  But by the times kids are freshmen, almost all of their friends have phones already.

My friends who get their kids cell phones aren’t the kinds of parents who spoil their kids and buy them every new shiny gadget.  On the contrary, these are kids who have chores and have to buy their own extras.  But they are also active kids, in sports, theater, and other after school activities.  But some families have kids in three different schools; last year I had a child in the middle school, intermediate school, and elementary school.  Getting them home from school was a feat of scheduling and logistics worthy of a military general, involving older kids riding the bus halfway home and picking up the younger kids…assuming everyone was going home after school on a given day.

If someone missed a bus, everything messed up.  The capability to call each other would come in very handy in those situations.  One parent in the Quad City article said, “Just a few years ago, a child with a cell phone was seen as over-the-top spoiling. Now, many families view it as a basic communication tool and safety precaution.”

My husband and I spend huge parts of our parenting lives trying to avoid that sort of “over-the-top-spoiling,” but what if this really isn’t about that any more?  We live in a small town, but things happen.  What if it’s about basic communication and safety now?

I do think that elementary school is too young for a phone.  These kids are never alone, anyway (at least, they shouldn’t be!).  But they have more freedom in middle school, and with more freedom comes more risk.  And with more risk comes more need by parents to be in touch, even at a distance.

I guess, as with most things, we all have to use our judgment.

Kids Playing Outside, courtesy of www.rsspieces.com

That’s what my mother would call out to me and my brother as we casually, usually absentmindedly, informed her that we were going  outside to play.

That was more than twenty-five years ago. Over the past two decades, things have changed for kids in America.

Single parents – like my mom – still had to work in order to pay the  bills. Which meant that she couldn’t be there when we got home after
school let out but that didn’t mean that we didn’t have our  instructions: homework first, chores second, then playtime. Sometimes
we even fixed our own dinners. But that’s just the way it was and that’s the way it is for a lot of families.

What’s different is that, over the past twenty-five years, in direct response to fear of child predators, Social Services mis-interpreting a familial situation and the staggering cost of childcare, parents have equated indoor-time as the lesser of two evils.

But, what that’s left us with is a whole generation of kids, who are now having families of their own, who are raising their children as
they themselves were raised. For the most part, hours spent in front of a computer screen is considered constructive and parents tout the advantage their child gains by continually gaming.

In the mean time, no one is playing outside.

Studies have proven that those children who regularly play outdoors tend to play more imaginatively, have lower stress levels, and have a greater respect for themselves, for others, and for the environment. Not to mention that they’ll be creating memories that will last their
entire lives and learn how to interact with other in a way that no on-line environment could hope to duplicate.

I can tell you more disputes got settled on my side porch with a more satisfying outcome than any disagreement started in any chat room. The afternoons, early evenings, and seemingly endless Sundays significantly contributed to who I am today just like all these kids,
staying at home, playing by themselves day after day, interacting with a computer screen, will have a life-long affect on them. Playing
‘Kick-the-Bucket’ with a bunch of neighbourhood kids in my side yard, sliding on the grass and getting bumped and bruised is nothing like
playing ‘Kick-the-Bucket’ by myself on my Wii. Grass stains can’t be ‘virtualized’ and the smiles and memories that come from playing
outside can’t be duplicated with a hand-held, intuitive, wand.

Encourage your child to turn off the monitor and go out and play. There’s a time and place for everything and that includes playing
outside and staying within earshot of our parents.

Who knows… With any luck, the next generation of children will have to be told that they have to come in and ‘do’ their computer time before they can go back outside and play some more.

Playing outside is eco-friendly.  Here are some more eco-friendly tips.

In an effort to help moms tortured by the woes of pumping breast milk, Easy Expression Products (http://www.easyexpressionproducts.com) just gave birth to a new partnership with A Pea in the Pod/Destination Maternity. The national maternity stores now carry The Easy Expression Hands-Free Pumping Bra.

When you’re a new mother, every minute is precious. The Hands-Free Pumping Bra gives you the gift of time. It’s not a nursing bra. It holds the pump flanges in place so you don’t have to. That frees your hands to do other things, like tend to your baby, answer emails, or even finish chores.

The Easy Expression Hands-Free Pumping Bra was just featured on ABC News. Pediatrician Dr. Alanna Levine said The Bra was “my lifesaver,” and ABC News Anchor Tanya Rivero said, “This would have changed my life” when talking about the Easy Expression bustier.

You can view the video here.