A strong-willed child is a lot to handle. They refuse to submit to authority and parents think this is about becoming disobedient. But it’s more of asserting what they want. And you can turn this into a plus point for your child.

1. Resist the power struggle. Often, a strong-willed child will engage in power struggle if they can get away with it. Enforce routines so that this doesn’t escalate. Stick with schedules so that you don’t have to argue witht he kid.

2. Give the child a chance to take charge. Let them be the “boss”. If you’re going to do the groceries, for example, you can have her prepare the list of things to buy. This will make her feel empowered, as if her choices do matter in the house. And that’s very important for a strong-willed child. They need to be recognized for the things they can do.

3. Listen and listen. Often the cause of misunderstanding in every kind of relationship is that our listening skills break down. Learn to hear out your child when she is being insistent. Not only will this phase her down and you avoid a full blown power struggle, you will also see the underlying reasons for her resistence to the way you discipline or enforce rules in the house.

4. Resist the urge to punish. The more you do this, the more she will love challenging you and pushing your buttons. Instead, approach the child calmly by talking and emphatizing, and you will gain more integrity in their eyes.

A father posted this on his son’s Facebook account:

A father posted this on his son’s Facebook account, as a way to teach his son to log out of his account when he is not on the computer:

“To all of Chris’ friends: This is his father. My son carelessly left his account logged in so I decided to snoop around. Upon reading my son’s personal information, I would like to clear a few things up. My son is not a “gangsta,” he will not “beat a ho’s ass” and he will most certainly not “roll a fatty wit his boyz.” So for all of those who think he is some hard ass thug, think again…he is Chris _______, a 15 year old kid that was afraid of the dark until he was 12 and cried at the end of Marley and Me.”

To his son’s friends, this was funny and quite revealing.

But I wonder if the boy felt humiliated by the act.

Do you and your kids Facebook together? I’m friends with my own kids, but as much as possible, I stay away from their activities and have limited their access to my wall.

As teenagers, they can get easily embarrased by their parents, that much I know. I don’t even tag my son as much, since he may not want his friends to see photos of him as a naked 3 year old or something like that.

Do you think this father crossed the line or do you find what he did as amusing?

I had been witnessed to countless situations where I a mother exhibits an emotional breakdown disciplining their kids in public. There was a time when I heard a mother berate her 8 year old child at the mall, rather loudly, which made her daughter cry. It had been hard not to look and mind my own business. I wanted to come up to the mother and berate her myself. But she was kind of intimidating and I guess everyone else was intimidated by her, that no one tried to stop her from shouting at her daughter, till they left the store.

At one point, I too was a witness of a mother cursing at his son, for he was misbehaving. The words that came out of her mouth were enough to want me wash this down with soap…but I bit my tongue and only gave the mother a glaring look, which I didn’t know how she took.

A friend of mine, however, was braver than I am and literally had to pry the mother away from her child, when it was very obvious she was hitting her with this fan on her hand. The kid had been misbehaving as usual, but the mother has hit him countless of times, it was awful to watch. My friend stepped in and told his mother to not hit her child or she will call the police. The mother reasoned he had been very naughty and needed discipline.

I truly dislike mothers who discipline their child in public, humiliating them. But what would you have done in this case? Would you step in too?

Handling different kids with different quirks and attitude is gonna be difficult. But can you imagine how teachers are able to do this? Here are some tricks you can adapt, that study says, work really well for teachers in a class.

1. Using their name to call attention. When they’re misbehaving or forgetting to listen to your pleas, you can call out to them by using their name. “Ben, fix your toys.” or “Sally, finish your food.” This works better than mindlessly barking out orders. Kids are likely to tune out when you do that.

2. Have a sit down with them. When kids misbehave at school, the teacher usually comes to the child and sits by the child’s desk. She is on eye-level and this, experts say, has an effect on the child. By talking to them this way, makes them feel less scared and are more likely to listen.

3. Change their task. Sometimes, kids bicker out of wanting to do what the other one is doing, because it may seem a lot of fun, compared to the task given to him. Routines like this may not work for some kids, so it’s probably best to rotate tasks that are assigned to them at home. This way, they also get to share in the workload with the other siblings, in a way that they won’t feel it’s unfair.

4. Let them decide on the rules and its consequences and this is not about giving them power, but rather, making them responsible for their actions.

The words we tell our children leave really strong impact. They look up to us for guidance but sometimes, the way we discipline them can hurt their feelings. In most cases, we don’t mean to snap at our children. But with the stress of running a household and managing work at the same time, parenting can sometimes take a toll.

However, if we keep in mind that these words ought to be avoided, we also avoid scarring our kids:

1. LEAVE ME ALONE or DON’T BOTHER ME.

I know parents need their break from parenting. But to directly say these words to a child sounds a lot like a rejection, especially when they’re only “bothering” you because they need your attention.

Take a moment to ask your child what is wrong. If they prefer to just hang-out with you, explain kindly why you need them to be somewhere else. You can probably say, “I have to finish this. But when I’m done, we can definitely go grab a bite of pizza.”

2. WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE ________?

Comparison between siblings or to someone else to show your child that what the other person did is better is definitely one way of blowing the child’s self-esteem. With siblings, this can also cause resentment and as parents we must not trigger this feeling with kids.

3. GOOD JOB!!

It’s good to give praise to the child, to boost self-esteem but sometimes, the meaning of a good job is lost when parents aren’t specific about it. Praise the deed itself, not the behavior.