The toughest job to being a parent is to teach young kids to behave. This is an essential task that molds the child into the person he or she should be. Values are learned and in learning these, discipline ought to be consistent and effective.

But since kids do not come with a manual, they say, it’s not exactly easy to confirm whether what we’re doing it right. Parents, however, can avoid some of the traps that come with enforcing discipline.

For instance, there should be some flexibility when it comes to teaching children how to behave. As the kids grow, their concept of what is right and wrong also mature. We can’t be enforcing the same brand of discipline when a child is three to when a child is ten. Parents need to recognize that there needs to be an age-appropriate way to disciplining.

In the same manner, every kid is different and will respond to certain norms and rules differently. When something isn’t working with the child, no matter how you instill this in them, it’s probably best to try a different way to cultivate values and insist on proper behavior. You have to know your child to be able to tell which works best.

Lastly, discipline so that the child can understand consequences and responsibilities. Doing something out of fear defeats the purpose of teaching the child how to handle himself better and behave like he or she ought to.

Shopping and having material things to own, collect or buy, is an indulgence that must not be deprived from anyone. That’s not wrong as long as children understand that these stuff aren’t replacement for emotional or social needs.

However kids today can easily have a lot of attachments to material stuff. I’ve seen other children growing up and having all the things they can want and still want more. It’s because their parents can afford it and are not taught to value when they already have enough. Children are also becoming more and more materialistic because of the thousands of things they’re exposed to in the media and on the internet.

As parents, we can teach our children to value what they own, as well as limit asking for more, by doing the following:

1. Instilling discipline about purchase and having things. They should only be treated to this during special times and occasions like getting good grades. This isn’t a bribe but more of a reward. Don’t let them grow up dependent on brands as well, by purchasing expensive items and name brands a lot.

2. Reinstate the concept of sharing. If you have a family with many kids, this is easy to enforce. But with smaller families, you can probably organize a swap meet in the community, and have kids barter their items, as well as socialize with each other.

3. Talk to your kids and tell them how marketing and advertising works and why they are exposed to a lot of stuff. Help them cultivate a resistance to being lured into wanting the things they don’t actually need.

I’ve been trying to look for this book which has been recommended by a friend to me. It’s only available through other third party sellers on Amazon, which is why I’m checking at local bookstores for it first and consider online purchasing as my last resort.

The book is perfect for parents who would like their kids to grow up positive and with better, more stable self-esteem. Instilling discipline and values through positive reinforcements can be tough, especially if, as younger kids, the parents themselves have been exposed to other forms of punishments and discipline.

This book is written by John Gottman, a noted psychologist for marriages and parenting who uses a model to helping children have healthy emotional intelligence. The five basic concepts introduced in this book underlines —

• You awareness to your child’s emotions
• How you handle these emotions so that the child can open up and bond with you better
• How parents would be able to verbalize the emotions, helping them solve their worries or validate feelings.

These days, a healthy emotional well-being is just as important as being intellectually smart, with many of the children growing up in dysfunctional households. This book teaches parents not to raise a dysfunctional child.

Note that our manner of parenting affects our child from the womb, until they grow older and die. So whatever you do to them as they grow up is crucial to who they are.

This book also has questionnaires that should help and guide parents who want to become better mentors for their children.

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts?

Mealtimes can spark major power struggles. Can you get yor little one to step up to the plate? Taking these steps can help prevent the majority of mealtime struggles that parents face:

• Establish a regular eating schedule that includes three meals and planned snacks, so your child will know exactly what to expect and when. Arrange to serve her a snack or meal once every two hours, which is about how often toddlers need to eat to feel satisfied.
• Turn each meal into a variety show. Serve several different foods, and let your child pick what he wants. Instead of offering just a plate of macaroni and cheese for lunch, add a slice of whole wheat bread and a kid-friendly vegetable.
• Make fun of food. By all means, draw ketchup smiley faces on cheeseburgers or arrange veggies into designs. The meal will be more appetizing to kids.
• Turn table time into social time. Sit with your child when he eats, even if you will be eating later.
• Make it clear that your child is expected to behave politely. Ask her to use an inside voice, keep her hands off other people’s plates, and stay seated at the table until she is excused. She may not always compl, but it sets the right precedent, and she’ll gradually come to internalize these rules.

If your child refuses to come to the table, allow him to stay away, but make sure that the television stays off, so he doesn’t have a ready source of distraction.

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We all want to be close to our kids, but treating your child like your best friend will turn her into a major brat. You don’t believe me? Well, unfortunately it’s true. Becoming friends with your son or daughter may seem like the perfect way to achieve a close relationship. And it’ll make your child feel special, powerful and grown-up.  But the desire to be liked by your little one can make it tough to set limits and stand up to her. The result is that a child that has no qualms about talking back or challenging authority and who thinks she’s the one running the show.

To be an effective parent you should know how to confront inappropriate behavior and say no to unrealistic demands. Don’t get me wrong here, it’s not bad to make friends with your child, you can develop friendship with her but don’t forget your limitations. Act like a parent and not a pushover.

*Call the shots: Lay down rules for behavior. (such as no running inside the house or throwing food at the table)Enforce them 100 percent of the time, even during playtime. Learn to be consistent because if you aren’t, don’t expect your child to follow you.

*Get a thicker skin: So what should you do when your child dissolves into tears because you tell her she can’t have more cookies? Stay calm and realize that she’s upset because she’s not getting her way, nit because she doesn’t love you. Remind yourself that children have the capacity to work through disappointments in a remarkably short period of time.

*Help your child branch out: if your child spends every spare time with you, then he probably doesn’t have much an opportunity to find out what he likes to do on his own or with other kids. You should also create opportunities for your child to be with other kids. Go to the park and allow your child to interact with his playmates.

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