I’ve been trying to look for this book which has been recommended by a friend to me. It’s only available through other third party sellers on Amazon, which is why I’m checking at local bookstores for it first and consider online purchasing as my last resort.

The book is perfect for parents who would like their kids to grow up positive and with better, more stable self-esteem. Instilling discipline and values through positive reinforcements can be tough, especially if, as younger kids, the parents themselves have been exposed to other forms of punishments and discipline.

This book is written by John Gottman, a noted psychologist for marriages and parenting who uses a model to helping children have healthy emotional intelligence. The five basic concepts introduced in this book underlines —

• You awareness to your child’s emotions
• How you handle these emotions so that the child can open up and bond with you better
• How parents would be able to verbalize the emotions, helping them solve their worries or validate feelings.

These days, a healthy emotional well-being is just as important as being intellectually smart, with many of the children growing up in dysfunctional households. This book teaches parents not to raise a dysfunctional child.

Note that our manner of parenting affects our child from the womb, until they grow older and die. So whatever you do to them as they grow up is crucial to who they are.

This book also has questionnaires that should help and guide parents who want to become better mentors for their children.

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts?

We all want to be close to our kids, but treating your child like your best friend will turn her into a major brat. You don’t believe me? Well, unfortunately it’s true. Becoming friends with your son or daughter may seem like the perfect way to achieve a close relationship. And it’ll make your child feel special, powerful and grown-up.  But the desire to be liked by your little one can make it tough to set limits and stand up to her. The result is that a child that has no qualms about talking back or challenging authority and who thinks she’s the one running the show.

To be an effective parent you should know how to confront inappropriate behavior and say no to unrealistic demands. Don’t get me wrong here, it’s not bad to make friends with your child, you can develop friendship with her but don’t forget your limitations. Act like a parent and not a pushover.

*Call the shots: Lay down rules for behavior. (such as no running inside the house or throwing food at the table)Enforce them 100 percent of the time, even during playtime. Learn to be consistent because if you aren’t, don’t expect your child to follow you.

*Get a thicker skin: So what should you do when your child dissolves into tears because you tell her she can’t have more cookies? Stay calm and realize that she’s upset because she’s not getting her way, nit because she doesn’t love you. Remind yourself that children have the capacity to work through disappointments in a remarkably short period of time.

*Help your child branch out: if your child spends every spare time with you, then he probably doesn’t have much an opportunity to find out what he likes to do on his own or with other kids. You should also create opportunities for your child to be with other kids. Go to the park and allow your child to interact with his playmates.

Great recommended  reads from around our network?

bye bye bottle

This is mine

Parent call: the snow solution

I love kids. They are sweet and fun, but they can also be impulsive and wild, especially when they’re not in the mood. They easily get upset when things don’t go their way. Sometimes, their tantrums provoke us to get mad at them. So how should you handle this kind of situation? If you learn to speak your toddler’s language, you’ll be able to resolve his flare-up with love and respect.

If they’re in a good mood, it’s fine to speak to them in a normal way. But when your child is upset, angry, frustrated, or sad, words mean less to him. His ways to communicate by that time are whining, shrieking or grunting. So here are the few things that you can do to talk your child out of a tantrum.

• Long sentences are hard for stressed-out toddlers to understand.  Try using very short phrases that will catch their attention.
• Repeat those phrases over and over to maintain your toddler’s attention.
• Finally, to show your little one that you strongly understand how he feels, match your tone of voice, facial expression, and body gestures to him.

It is important that you connect with your child. It helps him to mature emotionally when you’re there to guide him. Getting mad at him when he’s upset would only worsen the scenario. So learn to listen and understand because that means a lot to your precious little one.  It’s also an opportunity for you to bond with your child.  A parent’s job is truly an ordeal, but it is truly the best job in the world.

Great recommended reads from around our network?

Surviving a tantrum

Loving without spoiling