Children will usually say “I don’t know” when asked about things they have done or didn’t do when you expected them to deliver. This response is a classic and many children may actually mean it when they say they do not know. Parents then end up getting frustrated and prod for more questions. This often results to asking questions that will not get answers as children will most likely withdraw and retreat from getting the third degree.

Experts say that asking the right questions is the key. It teaches the kids to own up to their actions and mistakes.

For instance, instead of asking “Why did you do that?” ask “What did you do?” or “What happened?” Answering this will help children see the consequences of their actions. The process of explaining to you, is actually letting them see the error of their ways, so to speak. Allowing the child to describe what happened makes her see her behavior and hopefully, come into a realization and self-awareness.

The next question to ask then is “What can you do instead?” to help the child come up ways and solutions. This process teaches the child to develop sharper decision making skills and life-skills that he will need when he is an adult.

You can also ask the question, “What would have happened if you didn’t do that?” It increases their self-awareness and the way they know themselves.

These basic questions, according to expert takes the blame off and makes productive, thinking individuals of your kids.

With sources from Parenting & Children at About.com

Most 1 year-olds will have similar episodes of frustrations, since they’re at an age when their desires often outpace their abilities. Most anything, a challenging jigsaw puzzle, a lid that won’t come off eaily, or someone who doesn’t understand his grunts can send a toddler into a tearful, body-thrashing tantrum.

You may find dealing with your child’s frustrations, well, frustrating. But keep in mind that his behavior signals a positive developmental step. At this stage, your child is learning that the world has limits, and there are things he can conquer and things he can’t. Often the best approach is to let your 1-year-old continue to try and try again. Don’t be so quick to jump into rescue him, even if he’s struggling. This may seem hard for you as a parent, but just as adults learn from their mistakes, so do toddlers. It’s natural to want everything to be perfect for your child but remember that children need to learn that instant gratification isn’t always possible. Experiencing frustrations teaches your toddler how to cope with obstacles, a valuable skill he’ll need for the rest of his life.

In addition, intervening may frustrate your child more. Be more patient and emphathetic when your child gets frustrated with a challenging task or toy. You might say, “I know you’re trying trying ver y hard to put the puzzles together and you feel angry that the pieces don’t fit.” This will help give him vocabulary to interpret his feelings. By contrast if you tell your toddler that the pieces are fitting nicely (when clearly they’re not) you’re insulting his judgement. Dismissing his frustrations may only upset him more. Your support will eventually teach him that persistence pasy off.

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