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I was browsing through a list of writing prompts, when this one caught my eye:

Do you agree with this statement: Parents are the best teachers?

We say that a lot, and we all assume we know what we mean by it.

If we mean “best” in that they teach the best things, and can be trusted to provide the best guidance to their children, then I don’t think we can say yes unequivocally.  Even if parents should be trustworthy, many aren’t.

But if we mean “best” in the sense that their lessons stick longer and are more deeply ingrained than any others, then I would say yes.  For better or worse, the “teaching” parents do lasts a lifetime.

Parents teach on purpose of course–we show a toddler how to snap his pants, we show a kindergartner how to tie her shoes, we teach siblings to share and teenagers to follow through on their obligations.  But the most significant and life-forming teaching parents do happens simply by the way parents live their lives.

Simply by living and talking in the presence of their children, parents teach an immense amount–in most cases far more than they are aware of.  Without even trying, parents can teach their children honesty, honor, kindness, gratitude, self-control, spirituality, work ethic, optimism, respect, and affection.

Conversely, with no conscious thought on their part, parents can teach their children dishonesty, cheating, cruelty, entitlement, self-indulgence, materialism, laziness, cynicism, disrespect, and selfishness.

For better or worse, we aren’t even usually aware that these are the lessons our children are learning from us.  But they do learn them, and their lives are formed by them.  Studies show–and common sense indicates–that the values and choices of parents will be emulated by their children.  Of course, there are exceptions–thoughtful people have always chosen different paths than the ones laid out for them.  And most people go through a period of life when they consciously reject their parents’ values.  But for the most part, more often than not, people return to the values they grew up with when they become adults.

So, in that sense, parents are the  best teachers.  The lessons parents teach last a lifetime.  Very few classroom teachers can say the same thing.

Everyone is familiar with ROTC, the college-level Reserve Officers Training Corps.  And most people are familiar with JROTC, the high-school level Junior ROTC.  But now there is a new level of military training being offered more and more in schools: the MSCC, or Middle School Cadet Corps.

I know that people object to having military programs in schools because they feel it militarizes our children.  And, well, that is sort of the point.  Chicago is the leader in the MSCC, as well as having more public military academies than any other city in the United States, and while thousands clamor to get their kids into every new freshman class, some don’t think we should be teaching them military values. 

So, what are military values?  And what are kids in MSCC and Military Academy programs learning?  The answers to those two questions are the same, so let’s look at some of them.

• Honor.  And c’mon, are the public schools teaching this ideal anywhere?  I don’t see it, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need it.
• Responsibility.  You are in charge of things and people.  Their fate is in your hands.  You have to rise to the challenge or face the…
• Consequences.  Misbehavior and failures have real, measurable consequences.  What a concept.
• Discipline.  You learn self-control, and how to make short-term sacrifice to accomplish long-term goals.  You learn that your immediate needs are not the only consideration.  You lean to push yourself a little further than you thought you could go.
• Respect for authority.  Another thing sorely lacking in most public schools.
• Physical fitness.  Childhood obesity is on the rise, and funding for “extras” like PE programs is falling.  But military programs insist that each student take care of his or her body to keep it fit for the tasks at hand.
• Equality.  I know there’s still sexism in the trenches, but more and more, those who serve well gain both authority and priveleges, as well as responsibility, regardless of their gender.
• Excellence.  In a military culture, if you’re expected to do something, you’re expected to do it well.  That’s what inspections are for.  If it’s wrong, you will accept the consequences, and then you will do the task again, and again, until it is right.  Chances are next time you’ll be more careful. 
• Leadership.  Students get to practice making difficult decisions that will affect other people.  They learn that their choices have ramifications, and they learn how to navigate those choppy waters.
• Teamwork.  You march together, drill together, fail or succeed together.  You think with a sort of double mind, both as an individual and as a part of something greater.  You sacrifice for the greater good if you need to, knowing that if the team/squadron/crew succeeds, you will also ultimateley succeed.
• Grades.  Students have to keep their grades up in all their classes to remain in the program.  So they study.
• Citizenship.  Students are instructed in American citizenship; in fact the mission of the Army JROTC is “To motivate young people to be better citizens.”  If we’re not careful, they may end up being proud to be Americans.
• View to the future.  Not all JROTC and MSCC kids will go on to serve in the military.  In fact, only about 18% will.  But for some kids that’s a foot in the door of a good career, worthwhile work, and an extensive support system that they never could have had otherwise.

I’m not stupid, I know what a military is for.  If these kids stay in this program through ROTC and enlistment, they will eventually learn sophisticated ways of killing other human beings.  They may or may not ever have to put that training into use, but they will always have to be ready to do so.   They do that so that I don’t have to, and I’m more aware than most people what that may end up costing them.

But they don’t have to do that in MSCC or JROTC.  In these programs, they learn the above things…things their peers are not learning.  How many of us have looked at the rising generation of kids and wondered why they have no respect or discipline or honor or responsibility?  How much sense does it make to critisize programs that instill those very things we wish our kids had more of?

People who object to the militarization of youth don’t have to send their kids to a military academy or allow them to enroll in a MSCC or JROTC program.  There are other worthwhile programs in the schools.  But military programs are extremely effective for some kids, and shouldn’t be taken away.

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