The elder children in our family enjoy a dose of scary movies now and then. They weren’t exposed to these early on but I guess it’s pretty natural when children in their pre-teens begin to gravitate towards these kinds of story. It’s probably the adrenalin rush of watching it among all your siblings and cousins. Horror flicks, after all, are no fun to watch when you do this all by yourself.

There are some things parents need to take note of, however, when young kids are starting to be drawn by movies like these in that, they should understand the film beyond all the shock and gore they are watching. Because it can get pretty violent and traumatizing.

So before they watch something really gory, parents must point out to them the difference between fantasy and real life. And that in real life, violence or even sex, as exihibited in these flicks, should not be tolerated.

Also put emphasis on the roles genders play in these movies. The male characters are usually portrayed as deranged and troubled or feared. The female characters are usually portrayed as weak and vulnerable. In the real life however, this isn’t the case and a distinction must be shown between these.

If you’re afraid the movie will be too violent and scarring, though…offer the kids something else to watch or do instead of this. And reason with them that they can watch such movie at a later time. However, you can also be the best guage on whether or not the kids are able to handle such violence, so be discerning about this.

Handling different kids with different quirks and attitude is gonna be difficult. But can you imagine how teachers are able to do this? Here are some tricks you can adapt, that study says, work really well for teachers in a class.

1. Using their name to call attention. When they’re misbehaving or forgetting to listen to your pleas, you can call out to them by using their name. “Ben, fix your toys.” or “Sally, finish your food.” This works better than mindlessly barking out orders. Kids are likely to tune out when you do that.

2. Have a sit down with them. When kids misbehave at school, the teacher usually comes to the child and sits by the child’s desk. She is on eye-level and this, experts say, has an effect on the child. By talking to them this way, makes them feel less scared and are more likely to listen.

3. Change their task. Sometimes, kids bicker out of wanting to do what the other one is doing, because it may seem a lot of fun, compared to the task given to him. Routines like this may not work for some kids, so it’s probably best to rotate tasks that are assigned to them at home. This way, they also get to share in the workload with the other siblings, in a way that they won’t feel it’s unfair.

4. Let them decide on the rules and its consequences and this is not about giving them power, but rather, making them responsible for their actions.

The words we tell our children leave really strong impact. They look up to us for guidance but sometimes, the way we discipline them can hurt their feelings. In most cases, we don’t mean to snap at our children. But with the stress of running a household and managing work at the same time, parenting can sometimes take a toll.

However, if we keep in mind that these words ought to be avoided, we also avoid scarring our kids:

1. LEAVE ME ALONE or DON’T BOTHER ME.

I know parents need their break from parenting. But to directly say these words to a child sounds a lot like a rejection, especially when they’re only “bothering” you because they need your attention.

Take a moment to ask your child what is wrong. If they prefer to just hang-out with you, explain kindly why you need them to be somewhere else. You can probably say, “I have to finish this. But when I’m done, we can definitely go grab a bite of pizza.”

2. WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE ________?

Comparison between siblings or to someone else to show your child that what the other person did is better is definitely one way of blowing the child’s self-esteem. With siblings, this can also cause resentment and as parents we must not trigger this feeling with kids.

3. GOOD JOB!!

It’s good to give praise to the child, to boost self-esteem but sometimes, the meaning of a good job is lost when parents aren’t specific about it. Praise the deed itself, not the behavior.

Bickering between brothers and sisters is normal, but sometimes this can go overboard and someone ends up getting hurt by it. You can put a stop to sibling rivalry by doing the following with the children.

1. Motivate the children into supporting each other. Let the older brother help with the younger sibling with his school work and compliment him for it. This will encourage the older one to be a lot more nicer to the younger sibling.

2. Let the younger sometimes have first dibs with privileges in the house, this way, there will no be resentment of the older one gets first in everything.

3. Have an alone time with each of your child every week. Spending time with each one of them and giving them quality each lets them feel how valuable they are to you. This time alone must be done with each of the parents. Creating special bonding times with each of your child and follow this schedule to the letter.

4. Give the child time to spend time together by themselves as well. Over time they really have to get along and get to know each other. At first, it may be impossible to do, one of the kids may be reluctant. But if you keep at it, they will eventually see how much the other brother or sister can be fun to hang around with.

5. Do fun activities together as a family, regularly. Start a crafting project for example and have all of the family involved in this. It would help strengthen the bond between siblings and the whole family.

Image courtesy of sleepzine.com

I was browsing through a list of writing prompts, when this one caught my eye:

Do you agree with this statement: Parents are the best teachers?

We say that a lot, and we all assume we know what we mean by it.

If we mean “best” in that they teach the best things, and can be trusted to provide the best guidance to their children, then I don’t think we can say yes unequivocally.  Even if parents should be trustworthy, many aren’t.

But if we mean “best” in the sense that their lessons stick longer and are more deeply ingrained than any others, then I would say yes.  For better or worse, the “teaching” parents do lasts a lifetime.

Parents teach on purpose of course–we show a toddler how to snap his pants, we show a kindergartner how to tie her shoes, we teach siblings to share and teenagers to follow through on their obligations.  But the most significant and life-forming teaching parents do happens simply by the way parents live their lives.

Simply by living and talking in the presence of their children, parents teach an immense amount–in most cases far more than they are aware of.  Without even trying, parents can teach their children honesty, honor, kindness, gratitude, self-control, spirituality, work ethic, optimism, respect, and affection.

Conversely, with no conscious thought on their part, parents can teach their children dishonesty, cheating, cruelty, entitlement, self-indulgence, materialism, laziness, cynicism, disrespect, and selfishness.

For better or worse, we aren’t even usually aware that these are the lessons our children are learning from us.  But they do learn them, and their lives are formed by them.  Studies show–and common sense indicates–that the values and choices of parents will be emulated by their children.  Of course, there are exceptions–thoughtful people have always chosen different paths than the ones laid out for them.  And most people go through a period of life when they consciously reject their parents’ values.  But for the most part, more often than not, people return to the values they grew up with when they become adults.

So, in that sense, parents are the  best teachers.  The lessons parents teach last a lifetime.  Very few classroom teachers can say the same thing.