Image courtesy of The Green Health Spot.com

I have one child in elementary school and two in middle school.  This week I got three copies of the “When NOT to Send Your Child to School” memo.  Some of the information is so common sense, it makes me wonder, “Are there really parents out there who don’t know this?”

But it’s not always that easy of a call to make.  Sometimes you keep your child home for the child’s sake, but sometimes you keep him home for the sake of all those other kids.  And sometimes a child might display a stay-at-home symptom, but still run around like they live in the circus, and you think, “You are NOT sick!”

And of course, keeping a child at home wreaks havoc on the parents’ plans, too.  Parents have to stay home from work or arrange for child care, or if they work at home, they have to resign themselves to the fact that their day’s tasks will be lost to the demands of having a child there all day.

Still, in our little town of about 4000, we’ve had at least 2 confirmed cases of H1N1 flu (or swine flu), and rumors swirling around that one of the opposing team’s football players came to town after having been diagnosed with H1N1, and was still allowed to play.  I don’t know if that’s true, but if it is, I’m going to be highly irritated.  Like I said, sometimes you keep your kid home to protect all the other kids.

So, when should you keep your child home from school?

• Fever. The experts say that if your child’s fever is 100.4 or higher, you should keep them home.  A fever is an indication that your child’s body is fighting a bacterial or viral infection.  Be aware, though, that not all infections come with fevers–my son and I get terrible sinus infections that never sport fevers.  Also, what’s the deal with 100.4?  Do you send them off at 100.2 or 100.3?  I’m not a doctor, but it seems to me you can round down on this one.

• Bad cough or bad cold symptoms. If a child has a cold, they can go to school.  It might not hurt to send some hand sanitizer, if your school allows it (some don’t because apparently some kids have been drinking it, so they don’t spread it around, but colds are an unavoidable part of school life.  But if their symptoms are bad, like a persistent wracking or wet cough, or a stuffy head that doesn’t respond to cold medicine, keep them home.  If it’s just a cold, they feel too rotten to get anything from school, but chances are it could be a severe allergy, a sinus infection, or even pneumonia.

• Diarrhea or vomiting. If things are coming out faster than they’re going in, keep your child home.  The guideline for this is 24 hours after the last episode of those symptoms.  I don’t always follow that strictly–if a child throws up after dinner, but then feels fine, I’ll usually send them to school.  Some tummy troubles have more to do with what they’ve eaten than being sick.  But if there are repeated episodes, they shouldn’t go.

• Sore throat. A minor sore throat could just be a symptom of a cold or allergies, but if it’s more severe or if it last more than a day or two, keep your child  home and take her to the doctor.  It could be strep, which is highly contagious, or tonsillitis, which is highly annoying.

• Earache. Again, this could be part of a cold or allergies, but it could also be an ear infection or sinus infection.  A doctor’s visit is probably called for.

• Pink-eye, or conjunctivitis. The frustrating thing about pink-eye is that the child feels fine otherwise.  So, they’re home, bored, missing lessons and missing friends, but they have this itchy eye thing going on and can’t leave the house.  Fortunately, pink-eye is easily cleared up with antibiotic eye drops, but until it is, they really have to stay home.  The biggest problem is that they rub their eyes, then touch things, and spread around this very contagious condition.

• Rash. Some rashes are infectious, and some aren’t, but it’s hard to tell which is which until your child has seen a doctor.  besides, you don’t want them to be embarrassed by constant itching or discoloration.

• Stress. This one isn’t on the medical sites, but I think it should be.  Our kids deal with significant stress in their lives, and sometimes it gets to be too much.  Every  now and then–maybe once or twice a year–let them take a mental health day.  Skip school, go to lunch, let your kid curl up in your bed and sleep late.  Kids do have health problems resulting from stress, and we all need a break every now and then.

In some ways, you’ll never be financially ready to have children.  There are just too many expenses you can’t predict.  For example, how many birthday presents will you have to buy for kids in your baby’s day care?  How much does it cost to have a birthday party for a 1-year-old, 2-year-old, etc?  You don’t usually think to budget that stuff.

But not everything comes out of the blue like that.  There are some things that you can predict and plan for.  My suggestion, before you even begin to look at numbers, is to sit down with your partner (or alone if you don’t have one), and decide what your values are.  Figures aside, what do you want your family’s life to be like? 

If you want one of you to be able to stay home, if you want the most exclusive daycare, or if one of you wants to take the baby to work, what are you willing to sacrifice to make those things happen?  Once you have your values articulated and agreed upon, then it’s time to get the budget out.  Can you get by on one income?  What would you have to save to buy you 6 months at home?  3 months?  6 weeks?

Times are tight for a lot of people right now, but here is one piece of advice I want you to remember.  Money is your servant, you are not money’s servant.  Money works for you, you do not work for money.  Now, I know the reality is that bills have to be paid, and sometimes there’s too much month at the end of the money.  But your life choices need to be values-driven, with a realistic respect for money, not money-driven with a wistful glance over your shoulder at your values. 

Having said all that, here are some things to consider about your financial situation if you are considering getting pregnant.

1. What is your employer’s family leave policy?  Federal law mandates that they must allow you 12 weeks of leave without penalizing your job, but that’s unpaid leave.  Check to see if your income will take a hit if you miss work. 
2. What is your insurance provider’s pregnancy and childbirth policy?  Check to see how many ob/gyn office visits you get and how your insurer will respond if there are complications with the pregnancy or delivery.
3. Save soon, save much.  This is good policy for life in general, but if you are hoping to quit or cut back work for one parent, you want as much as possible saved up.  And believe me, it’s never too early to start scoping out those Roth IRA’s for college.
4. Overestimate expenses.  Abide by Murphy’s Law–anything that can go wrong will.  When you budget for the coures of your pregnancy, take into account that some women end up on bedrest for long periods of their pregnancy.  And if your baby is born early or with problems that delay him or her leaving the hospital, you want to be there, with your child, not at your desk.  Plan for adversity, and be pleasantly surprised if it doesn’t happen.
5. Keep couple time in the budget.  We’ll talk about this more when we get to emotional readiness, but your couple relationship will determine what kind of home your baby grows up in.  Budget date nights and babysitters–even if it means starting a fund for it now, before you’re even pregnant.
6. Be open to renegotiation.  If you don’t yet have a child, you can’t imagine how deeply in love you’re going to fall.  There’s no point in me telling you, really; it will overwhelm you and change everything you thought you knew.  You might find that you can’t bear the thought of going back to work and leaving the baby in 6 short weeks.  On the other hand, after giving the stay-home thing your all, you might find that you are frustrated and discontent without your chosen work to balance your life.  Make sure you and your partner make room for the reality check that the actual baby (rather than the “planned baby”) will bring.
7. Budget! All of the above assume that you have a budget, so if you don’t have one, make one!  There will be enough unexpected expenses that you want to have control over as many details as possible.  You want to be proactive, not reactive, with your money.  Remember, you’re the boss.  Money works for you, so you have to tell it what you want it to do.
8. Taxes.  You have to determine what your timeline is, but all I’m saying is that a baby born before December 31 is a sweet little tax deduction.