My mother had an expression: “You are as slow as molasses in January!”

Descriptive, isn’ t it?  That was about the speed my sister moved, and now that I’m a mom, I find it’s the speed at which at least 2 of my children move. 

Part of this has to do with getting ready in the mornings, when time is at a premium and the pokey child wanders from room to room or takes 20 minutes on the potty.  But part of it is just the speed at which they move from one place to another. 

What can you do to minimize family frustrations  when a pokey child is holding things up?

• Be patient!  Remember, kids don’t think or move at the same speed as adults, and their priorities aren’t the same.  Stopping to pick that dandelion is every bit as important to your child as getting your errands done before rush hour is to you.   And remember, no matter what it feels like at the time, they aren’t doing it on purpose because they know it bugs you!

• Allow for more time.  Yes, they do have to learn to do things in a timely way, and I’ll get to that, but the key word there is learn.  They don’t have it down yet.  It’s up to you to remember that they won’t be walking out the door without a pillowcase full of every DVD and stuffed animal they own.  Allow time for them to gather their things or to prepare themselves mentally for the next activity.  If things are too rushed in the morning, consider getting the children up 15 or 20 minutes earlier.  In our family, my husband gets them up at 6:30, they eat breakfast, then they climb into bed with me for 15 minutes of snuggling and quiet talking to start the day.  They could get up at 7:00, but that would create a rushed, stressful morning, and I would miss those close, cuddly moments. 

• Avoid distractions.  No television in the morning–or any other time you want to be focused!  Few kids can skillfully get themselves dressed as they are singing along with Cyberchase or Dora.  And it doesn’t do much good to say, “We’re leaving in five minutes so get your things together,” if they are lost in TV world.  Turn the TV off, then tell them to prepare to leave.

• Prepare ahead of time.  Pick out clothes and pack up backpacks the night before. Put them in clear view so there’s no running around yelling, “Where’s my backback?  Where are my shoes?”  You can prepare a child to leave the house ahead of time, too, simply by first packing up the things they’ll need, and then sitting them down with a video or activity until it’s time to leave.

• Take time when you have it.  If you’re just walking down the street, and you have no deadline, it won’t kill you to stop and look at the new clover that’s taking over your yard.  Your child thinks it’s pretty.  You may be goal-oriented (you’re walking TO the post office), but your child probably isn’t.  She’s just walking. 

• Make it clear that moving quickly is important before you start.  Simply let your child know that there is no time to dawdle today.  Ask for his help.  “I love to look at the worms on the sidewalk with you, but we have to get to the post office before it closes.  Will you help me walk fast?” 

• Gently but firmly remind your child that you must be obeyed.   You do get in a hurry, and you don’t always have time to explain.  And sometimes it’s a matter of safety; my middle daughter gets lost in daydreams and drifts off in the middle of parking lots, falling behind the rest of us and wandering in front of cars.  When I say, “Sabra, hurry UP!” I need her to hurry up.  I do not need her to keep drifting and ask, “Why?”  Sometimes there’s just no time.  If they fall down on that–which they will–it’s important to remind them once the crisis is over that sometimes you can’t explain right way.  Sometimes they just have to obey.

• Make manners a priority in your home.  Just as you emphasize please, thank you, and chewing with their mouths closed, remind your kids that it’s rude to keep people waiting.  A gentle but consistent emphasis on good manners over the course of their childhood will ultimately pay off.

We do have a lot to do, no doubt about it, and it seems there’s never enough time to do it in.  But just as you hurry your kids up, don’t forget to let them slow you down, too.