Preschoolers may know the rules of fair play, but learning to share can still be a major challenge.

Wouldn’t it be great if your hear your child saying to his friend “Sure, you can play with my favorite robot anytime” well according to the studies of Child development, 3 -4 year olds tend to cling passionately to their possessions. They are so focused on their wants and needs that sharing just isn’t their priority.

Even though kids at this age are usually having a hard time sharing, they can be surprisingly generous when adults encourage them to do so.  Here are some steps you can take to help the process along:

• Encourage your child to share with you – This will be easier because your child knows that you won’t have a tantrum or grab his toys. Frequently ask for his favorite toy and remind him that he can ask for it back properly.
• Go to the playground – This is the best place to learn how to “take turns”  because the equipment there doesn’t belong to anyone. Your child will see that everyone gets a chance to go down the slide.
• Don’t force your child to share everything – During a playdate, ask your child which toys he’s willing to share. If he’s not willing to share his favorite toy, you can tell him to keep it first. This will make it easier for him to loosen his grip on toys the rest of the time.
• Teach the basics of negotiation- When a conflict arises sit with both kids and talk about what to do. Instead of yelling and grabbing the toys, your child can trade another toy for it, ask if he can play with it when the other child is done. You can also suggest that they play together.
• Skip the lecture. – If your child is frustrated because he doesn’t want to take turns, he won’t listen to any of your discussions about sharing. Try to distract him with another activity and just remember that sharing is easier on some days than others.

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